I've been learning to read Tarot for a little while. Originally I intended it to be a way of organizing my thoughts - kind of like how you flip a coin when you "can't decide," and the result of the coin toss makes you realize that, oh wait, you actually wanted the tails option instead of heads all along.
However, I've had some odd experiences with it since starting.
Currently, I'm in a rather isolated part of the midwest for an editing position. I'm here on trial, which means once the trial period is up (rather soon), I have to decide whether I want to stay here and keep working or go find employment elsewhere. I'm kind of up in the air on this, with some days thinking this is the best job in the world for me, and other days thinking I can't wait to get out of here. So I've been using Tarot to give me guidance on my feelings.
When doing the Celtic cross spread, twice in a row I've had the Queen of Swords as the questioner (me), and the Hermit as the immediate influence. The Queen can symbolize a lonely woman (o hai!), while the Hermit symbolizes withdrawing from the world, solitude, and isolation... not to mention my boss fits the Hermit archetype both physically (he's an old dude with long hair and a giant white beard!) and psychologically. That was certainly an eye-opener to me.
More recently, my boyfriend was on an interstate motorcycle trip - the first since he'd been in a rather serious accident this past winter. So, naturally, I was a little anxious about it. Then suddenly his phone starts going straight to voicemail, and he's way overdue to arrive back in his hometown. His mother calls me to ask if I know where he is, since he hasn't checked in. Cue me freaking out.
I ask around his friends to garner as much information as I can - his motorcycle broke down, and last they heard he was still looking for a place to stay for the night - but none of them had heard from him for a while. Great.
To calm myself down, I decided to ask the cards: "What's my boyfriend's situation at the moment?" I pulled a single card at random from the middle of the deck.
Naturally, I drew Death.
Now, it's a truism that Death practically never means actual, physical death. I kept telling myself that, over and over. But a part of my brain kept responding, But sometimes it does!
The Death card also means an unexpected (perhaps negative) event, I told myself. His motorcycle breaking down certainly falls under that category. Just in case, I cast a quick, impromptu spell for his protection and went to sleep.
The next morning, I asked the cards the same question - what's his situation now? - and pulled another card at random.
I drew Death once again.
Now I was really scared. I decided to try calling his phone one more time, even though last night it seemed to have been dead. This time, though, it rang, and - joy! - he picked up, sounding as if he didn't have a care in the world.
"Oh yeah," he said, "my bike's still fucked, and I'm waiting for it to get fixed. But I managed to get ahold of [a mutual friend of ours from college] and her folks were kind enough to put me up for the night. I'm hanging out with her right now."
Finally I understood what the card was trying to tell me - he was swept up in an unexpected event (the "death" of his motorcycle), but he let himself go along with it, and it led to him reconnecting with an old friend, leading to a "rebirth" of his relationship with her.
I imagine that my persistence in drawing Death was also a test for me; I was deeply affected by my boyfriend's injuries over the winter, and I still need to shed my emotional baggage over it. Worrying about him whenever he leaves his house is not productive, and could actually harm our relationship. I worked myself into a frenzy of anxiety, and over what? He turned out fine; he usually does.
Still, I'm definitely going to make a protective charm for him when I get home. :P
No comments:
Post a Comment